The One

Relationship Roadmap pt9                Tonight the temperature is dropping its so damn cold..

I wish i had a warm body, wish you were here to hold..

The house is creekin and cracking i cant get no peace..

I just want to hear your voice whispering ever so softly..

Come on baby im here don’t you want me..

I’ll be on your mind forever you can’t never say you forgot me.

And all of the things we’ve ever been through..

There not any thing that don’t remind me of you.

After all the things we have said and done..

It was supposed to be you and i, me and were the one

The one i thought would love me unconditionally..

But you were the one who destroyed, totally annihilate…me…..

By Gary A








After…happily ever

dont-leave-me-alone-in-this-bed-lauren-xenosAnother lonely night,…and you run though my mind

I wonder if we could  go back…travel back into time

And we’d still be it was supposed to be.

We were perfect for each other,..a timeless love in history

But i must have not meant that you meant to me.

Or you never would have did what you’ve done ..don”t you agree

So goodbye my best long our happily ever after..

There no one here to romance… To love or no laughter

Tomorrow brings a new sun..i get over you each passing day

The heavens give me straight…through its sun rays..

What we could have been..we’ll never know

Whats after my happily ever..where do i go???

By Gary A





Made 4 U

When god created you

He made me as your other half.

Our love was so meant to be

It feels like were a perfect match

Words don’t have to be spoken

Just a look not even one letter

I know just how your feeling

And I know how to make it better

I will always be right there

When your feeling, sad and so blue

I will always be, by your side

To hold, listen and to comfort you

Just as you have been there for me

Through the good and bad times

What I feel is just so amazing

I still can’t believe that your mine

Everything between us is perfect

It is like our love was so meant to be

You are exactly all  I’ve ever wanted

Baby your straight out of my dreams

There will never be another love

Like this love that you and I share

Loving you comes so natural

Its like breathing fresh mountain air

You are absolutely, positively, for sure

The only one that was made for me

With out your love, I couldn’t survive

I would be lost,I’d be so incomplete

I believe God had all this planned

It was his intentions and design

He knew that I was made for you

And you would always be mine…

Gary A

Relationship Roadmap 9

Relationship Roadmap pt9

So you been planning for months, both of you, are so excited to just get away. A long over due vacation, that’s just what you need right now. One thing I didn’t understand is that, couples are taking other couples with them on vacation. I never heard of this… If it was something on the kinky side, I’m not into that.. but at least I’d understand. I kinda get that the men go golfing and the women go shopping. But isn’t that what happens on every other weekend back home. The get away part, is from your everyday life. A better scenery, nice food, a show, and making love to your woman. A vacation is a pass to be as freaky and hard, loud and what ever you want your on vacation. So now married couples need a buffer or don’t want to spend time with the love of there life. Wow OK, it starts with that damn cell phone…always more important than anything  in your life. Life keeps going on, while your head is buried in that device. OK well my wife and I were best friends and liked to get away..with each other. Its was always going to be her and I taking this world by storm. We took road trips and stopped in a few small towns in America. With that one motel were you look at her and she looks at you. Both of you were thinking it, and smiled at each other at the front desk. Once we got the key and in the room… locked the door. Id say thank god i love you so much because if we have to fight the Bates to get out of here. I know i have my beautiful, so sweet, ain’t nobody got a woman like I got. Stuff as such, but we enjoyed spending time together, especially on vacation. Travailing can be hectic, but I’m a organized planner. So I do check lists, has the basics on it and we would sit down and talk. We plan out our days and nights wherever we did, or where our destination was. Swimming need suit maybe two, as we planed our vacation. Not our vacation with the Jones… This was  for her and I team us. So having organization is good and not strict planning to the minute planning, this should be a happy time, where couples don’t need relationship advise. If your taking the same, but different vacations . then i would think our days as a couple are numbered. I went on vacation with others like Vegas, but still it was her and i. Meeting up with the others for a dinner and show. But we ran our vacation together, and did our own thing. If you want to golf, in Vegas you need a 4am tee time. You can golf, she sleeps in..if you took care of business last night..she can go have break fast and you guys meet up to sight see, what ever it is…it should be something for you two. So I think you and your wife should try to be alone out of town. If you feel weird or uncomfortable Hanging out with your wife. You guys need help or a continued shipments /from google and helzberg diamond. But I really believe if your reading this, to try to make your marriage better. Your not going to blow her off on vacation,  so you can hang with your boy. Unless its your Bachelor party, then I’d say its not OK. Just try to be in the same room and enjoy each others  company. I thought that was a prerequisite.  Before you got married, moved in together, what ever it is. Trust me being married to your best friend is amazing. You Will have boys nights out, BBQ’s , Bronco games, golf, and even whole weekend away. OK well learn and love your other, because she’s the other half of your life. Just plan, no stress, and no surprise. Like a friend showing up. She might not mind but it doesn’t make those we has the best time memories. Till next time….

Remember you are part of her as she is the better half of you. And it’s your relationship, so do what feel right for you two… Love one another, but not a always under the covers.

Relationship Roadmap 8

Relationship Roadmap pt8

On those special occasions, this is your time to shine. If you have been having conversions and listening to her. This should be a breeze, write no one knows my love better than I do. I hope your right, because it truly should be. By just having a little  interest in her life, your golden. But remember, women don’t want households items, let alone cleaning items. That would get you in so much hot water, it’s just plain stupidity. Don’t get decorative items like a picture she wanted, Because it not for her. Most women want something from you that shows her..not only do you love her, you know her. Um so all women love jewelry but, does it have meaning, why did you select that piece. If you have no answer, other than its pretty like you. I would shop around for apartments in the near future. Guy’s are easy, they don’t have the five C’s system in flat screen TV’s. Because we don’t need a reason or back story. If you got a TV you be watching all your reason in few minutes. But women like it if you know them, and the gift is an extension of you love for her. So now, I’ll put it like this if you love the Broncos as I do and your lover comes home on your birthday. Which happens to be three weeks before the home opener. And you had been hinting to her that you’d like to go. And hands you a gift wrapped box and an envelope. You open the envelope and its a nice card but no tickets. Instead its a hand written gift card to some guy Devon on how to be a better lover. Wow what’s this about, it like giving women a vacuum for Christmas. So you move on to the box you unwrap it and thru the tissue paper you see the NFL logo. It’s the Von Miller Jersey i wanted, you  lift the item out of the box. It a Khalil Mack Raider jersey. You say what’s this, she shrugs her shoulders. Ah it a Jersey, that’s what you wanted right aren’t they all the same. So I know it a crazy off the wall scenario, but you would feel as if she don’t even know you, right. So making sure she gets the gift she’s going to want that’s great, getting her a gift that she had no clue she wanted, but it is exactly what we been talking about. It’s some thing that is meaningful and it shows you love her. So it’s not about the money, it’s about the meaning. I was laid off right before Valentines day, and I had made the holiday a big to do. Our first Valentines she came home to the entry way decorated and covered with 5 dozen roses, candy and candy in bowls, a bunch of sing stuffed animals, balloons, pictures in heart shape of us. And i wrote about four different poems about us And the year and how much I loved her. This got bigger year after year it had hotel room added then trips added my own dipped and personalised chocolate covered strawberries, and gifts so many gifts.  But the year I got laid off I was screwed, I had been spending a lot of money. But the gifts were so meaningful it melted her heart every year. So on a budget I used what I had, and time was what I had the most of. So I started gathering photos of us the best ones. I kept files of the poems i had written her. So I scanned the photos into the computer. Each photo got a different poem except one. I went to Walgreen’s and priced a picture book. I believe it was 60+ pages, so I picked the best 60 or so photo/poem pages I had been working on. The center page I made a college of the 10 Valentines days we had calibrated. And wrote an extra long poem to cover both pages. The front of the book had a single slot for a picture and that spot got the first Valentines day.  I got candy and shopped around for the roses, 2 dozen. Got all her old Valentines day stuffed animals. Old stuff fit because of the poem book. I separated the roses and put 6 in each vase. So when she arrived home I made her a nice meal. The room was filled and was that wow to see. On the table were lit candles and her chocolate covered strawberries, and poem book behind them. She looked at the display I had made ate a strawberry or two. Then crinkled her forehead and said what’s this. I said it’s for you open it, she smiled and began, flipping through the pages. I was on my way to her, I heard her sniffle. She looked up me with tears in her eyes, shook her head and then wrapped her arms around me and kissed me so hard. I was so happy and relived that her reaction was as I expected. Because I knew my women and knew how to melt her heart. Just have meaningful conversations with her, don’t ease drop on her and her girlfriends. Just love her, know her and its a good idea to put away poems, stuffed animals, just mementos. If it has meaning I’m putting it in a box with other like items already put away. They provide the nostalgic and yet the he kept that type of  emotion. So keep learning about each other and if you don’t know any thing about her with substance, I’d get to learning and learning fast.

Love her like today was your last. And take the time to just sit and talk, no cell phones once again. And look into each others eyes as you speak to one another..

OK till next time…

Relationship Roadmap 7

Relationship Roadmap 7

OK  by now looking for your partners hint, clues and or listening to her, should have been getting easier thus far. This subject is one I still can’t get, figure out or have a quick trick for. Its SEX, men have been oblivious to women moods, desires and just all out… her needs. Its been proven, discussed, everyone has an opinion on the subject. But you see all men and women are different in so many ways. No professional is going to have answers. Unless they can read both your minds every time you two have intercourse. The start of the relationship is good, as I assuming like most couples, that you guys went at it every chance you got. It’s awesome, its new, exciting and you both are trying to win the other over completely. But years in.. it gets less and less, not as much passion and its usually need a boost. I’m as, I assume, like most men have a larger sexual appetite then your partner.  I have only had one, that almost kept up with me. And I liked her a lot, the sex was amazing. We had that chemistry, that we just did things and it was never wrong. We had marathons, but I never considered her wife or mother material. I can’t help but think it was because of all the dirty things we did. I’d like to believe I’m better than that, but I questioned it a few times. But reading her was natural, she lifted up her hips I knew what to do, she made a noise or moan I knew what to do. So I believed that I figured out what women wanted and how to deliver it. Stupid and very arrogant thinking on my part. If women were 1964 Chevelle’s then I would have been right. But they’re not mass-produced in Detroit, so there’s  the problem. And if your with your lover for a while, their needs and desires change. The nerve of them, my mental manual on her is no longer valid. And being able to discuss sex with your partner is huge, it helps. But they don’t usually want sex in the same way every time. This is wonderful but mind wrecking, because not every time in the heat of passion…do you have a moment to stop and come up with a game plan. Like I said I assumed I knew how to take care of women needs. So I assumed if I was passionate, and worked some areas..I’d figure it out. Just to say I didn’t have a clue and felt like less than a man. She just stop and give me those words… that’s still feel like a knife stuck in my man hood. She’d say just stick it in and hurry. It’s crazy a few nights ago she wanted me to pull hair, pound her hard and call her names. And now she wants a quickie, this gets confusing. Women want for the most part, the man to initiate  and take control of the situation. Which is a conundrum because, I don’t have a clue what, she wants at this particular moment. Not all the everytime was a clueless attempted fail. But as I mentioned I like and got into sex more than she did. I like foreplay, romance, passion, hard Kissing. Just an all night experience, that would be pleasurable for both of us. No she is her own person and is as different from my past lovers, as a piece of gum is to bleach. There was nothing the same about any of them. I’d try to get frisky with her earlier in the day, like pat her but as she passed. And if she looked back gave a smile and shook her behind at me. Then in figured I was laying track to figure out how in was going to approach the situation later. Now I learned, her desires and needs change with in the hour. What she was in the mood for at lunch was different from at dinner, and definitely at bed time. So if she was tired, I took on more of the household duty’s. Thinking I’d reap the rewards later, no wrong..wrong. So what I’m saying, is I don’t have a clue what my lover is going to want right now or from when the next commercial break. So there is no way I could tell you or anyone else can.. on what your lover wants. The only one who knows, in the whole world is her. So you sometimes need to talk, ask, just keep lines of communication open. It’s not as bad as you’d think, and she will give you an idea, I think, I hope. But every woman is so different especially when it comes to sex. Its crazy 16 years with a women and never felt like I mastered her needs in the bedroom. My next lover I felt like I was a perfect fit sexually. but we just let it have too much emphasis on the relationship. You can’t be a porn star everyday the rest of your life. A relationship needs balance and focus on all things and everything that makes you and your love happy. All I can give you is just, be an attentive, and considerate to her wants and needs. But most important is talk about it. During sex and other non passionate times…..OK till next time…

Remember love is a living thing, keep nurturing and feeding it..that’s the only way to keep it healthy and happy..

Relationship Roadmap 6

Relationship Roadmap 6

OK, I have been saying pay attention to your lovers actions, words, anything and everything down to the way she’s breathing. I know all the experts say communication is the key to great relationship. And there right…. you do need to talk to one another. But there are situations where no matter how much taking you do, it’s going to be frustrating. Example, have you ever asked where she wants to go eat. Even after she called you twice ore more at work to confirm the time you would be home. The #1 answer she will give is ” I don’t know, what do you feel like.” So in this dilemma, I do a process of elimination. You remind her of places she didn’t really care for and then you bring up a few good experiences she had. If she liked the food, nice atmosphere,… friendly staff is as big one and so one. And you will always figure it out, but by you paying attention you will remember and remind her of places she did or did not like. Now if you didn’t pay attention, and had no idea. Then all that talking would eventually turn to yelling. It’s a good idea to have those memories, for situations like this one. But if your head is buried in your phone you won’t catch things like, the eye roll of the waitress or light shiny in her eyes. Just be there in the moment and its easy. And she will be impressed by you, seeing things and remembering them. Then this night won’t turn out to be one you don’t want to remember. I’m not saying men are smarter, or women are always emotional. Oh god, I know that’s not the case. I’m saying keep a level head, because…us as men are upset and or irritated when things like work are on our minds. And we tend to make things a big deal, when they are not. And a woman gets emotional when there are upset, happy, frightened.. And when they react, us as men need not acknowledge the situation. But remember and stored the information away. Not to get over on her or one up her. It’s quite the opposite, its to know her likes, dislikes and her deepest fears. When we talk to our significant other, we don’t always put everything out there. Other example: if you love this pizza place down the road, hot cheesy, greasy goodness. You like it there and our woman will go and enjoy it with us. but if she’s getting upset stomachs, and in bath room after you guys eat there. If in this scenario you’re not paying attention, then you wouldn’t know that it’s giving her stomach issues. They are probably minor..But that not the issue. The issue is she knows you love it, and so she goes there for you. Oh she could be enjoying it also because its delicious. That’s just an example of things that don’t get communicated, especially early in the relationship. So I wouldn’t want to cause a woman and discomfort, no matter how little it may be. So I would run by there for a slice alone when I’m out running errands. But would not subject that her to that any further. And if she brings it up as a suggestion, I’d remind her that you noticed she didn’t like ” it was so greasy last time”. Then she’ll have an opportunity to not go there anymore. But you paid attention and she will be grateful for that. I would feel good knowing that she was accompanying me, because she loves me. And I gave her an out from going there, because I love her. OK till next time, just enjoy each other and pay attention to her, not because you have to because you want to.

Keep those cell phones put away when its date night or quality time. Nothing is more important, then being there in the moment, not in cyberspace.

By Gary Ath (19)

Relationship Roadmap 5

Relationship Roadmap 5

All couples will disagree, and fight. It happens we are all human and the ones closest to us, tend to get the back lash of our day-to-day life. We all have them kind of days, where we what to be left alone. And on those days, are when things go wrong. It enviable that when you just absolutely don’t need something to malfunction or just break, it does. So this is when the level of handyman you are needs to be evaluated and honestly assessed to take care of the situation. I know were men and it dings our pride to have another man come into our domain and fix things. But it’s going to be part of our growth and further develop us a men. I had the furnace  go out, I was at work and he charged my wife $200. I looked at the invoice, work order and it had no description on it of what he did. So couple years later furnace goes down, I had to YouTube how to band-aid it. I needed to be there for when this repair man came back to see what he actually does. Yes it caused an agreement, but when I seen him wipe down the inn side and unscrew the fire sensor and just clean it. Then he put it back together and charged us $200 again. So since I seen what he did and some investigation on our unit. I was able not only do the upkeep but replace and repair older parts. Being some what mechanically inclined, I figured why stop there and began doing all household repairs. I mean I seen my grandfather do all repairs on their house, I should be a man and due my own. So my reign of Mr fix it around the house lasted 10+ years, not a bad run. But me becoming over-confident and my ego was so many times bigger, there wasn’t anything I could do. So I thought, learn from my mistakes and really look into things before you make it so much worse. Everything now is a smart device and need special, expensive part and tools. So after shorting out and frying a few items. I wasn’t allowed to touch anything, this hit my pride like a Mack truck. We argued and resented each other over my stupid pride. So I’m just saying if you’re not sure, just save your self the headache of doing it, but most of all fight with you love. Like i said your going to fight but don’t fight over some stupid like pride. I know it’s hard and I failed at it but looking back, it would have saved me a few night on the couch. So pick your battles and if your going to fight make sure its worth something to stand up for. And when she can truly look at things from your point of view she’ll understand, not agree just understand. And most women don’t understand or even care about pride. So if you argue with her and it’s over something she’ll later see where you were coming from..there’s a pretty good chance when you guys resolve the situation and you can make up. If you know what I mean, because when you both get all worked up,there some pent-up emotions brewing. But if she can’t see a valid reason for the argument, then most times, you have to say sorry and there is no make up sex. So just remember you will argue and it’s normal and healthy to get things out. Just make sure it’s for all the right reasons, and really worth it. I know some time its best to just not go there, then get into a fight. I have bitten my tongue plenty of times, and swallowed my pride to avoid a stupid fight. I know I wasn’t really going to care one why or the other in the near future. We’ll never know how the other is going to think or react. But if we don’t react or counter their choice or decision, we save our self’s for being unhappy nights. And when where fighting and unhappy , were not enjoying one another. That’s what we all got it into our relationship to do. So love her and apprentice her every single day.

Till next time, do let pride get in the way, of truly loving her.

Relationship Roadmap 4

th (18)
Relationship Roadmap 4

Chivalry is not out of an old-fashioned time period or something in as black and white movie. It’s a show of love and respect toward the one you care about. Some women are uncomfortable with a man opening doors and pulling out her chairs. It’s because no one has ever done this for her. It’s not sexist, it’s a form of showing her you love her. its a tradition, that’s somehow got lost thru time. It’s no different from holding hands, kissing her in public. It is a form of affection, and I personally still believe in. Watching my grandparents, my grandfather doing this for my grandmother, just showed me that real men do this and that’s how men should respect their women. 60 years of marriage, can argue with that and still in love, that’s the dream. To have someone love you literally for life, that’s what we as humans are searching for and or trying to keep. So showing your women you love her shouldn’t feel weird or embarrassing it should come nature and you should be happy to do it. Making your loved one feel special and doing things for them should come so easy. If it feels like work or you’re trying to hard then maybe you need to look at your relationship. Picking up roses to take home to her, just because you love her. That should just happen with no reason or expectations. I worked with this lady Sue, one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She was wonderful, but she just got blown away when no was getting roses for my wife and asked what the occasion was. I said because its Tuesday, she was so floored by my response. But it was true, it didn’t need a day on the calendar to tell me when I should show my Wife I loved her. Special occasions are special but the day-to-day living and the struggles you and your love go through. Are also special and should be treated as such. Flowers every day wouldn’t be or feel the same but, just from time to time that is special. A love note on the mirror or anywhere as a reminder that she means so much to you. And I would do this as often as I could. Because saying you love her is OK but showing her, just mean that much more. So don’t ever feel you have to do thing for her, do thing because you want to do them . It’s just keeps your priorities in perspective, she should come first. Life, work, friend’s are important but not as important as your true love. And its kinda  important to leave or give those reminders that she’s still the one. Especially when life get busy and hectic, when quality time gets little less and not as romantic. So just remember to show her, so she knows you love her.  It’s just a good practice to show and communicate this to her everyday!

So just don’t assume she knows you love her so much, show her you love her in every way.

Relationship Roadmap 3

th (16)
Relationship Roadmap 3

Shopping with your love, wow I know if your going shopping to a mall, or outlets stores , or any type of multiple shops. It so easy to turn this experience into a fight or come off looking like a jerk. She’s going to look at things she may want, things that she don’t need and everything else under the sun. So be comfortable, not sloppy but as casual comfortable as you can be. Just anticipate your going to be board, standing, giving your option on a lot of things she won’t even by, and holding her things. But don’t look how you feel, put a smile on it and don’t be super sarcastic. Eat before you go, isn’t a bad Ideas, because the food courts may have good food,  it keeps you there longer and the longer you stay the more she thinks about shopping. After she eats she is going to want to look at a few more things before you guys leave. While you’re getting ready to heads out, listen to some upbeat music, like  the morning you listen to some thing with a good beat and good songs.. you start of positive. This is exactly how you want to start off the day. Singing, dancing, kissing her as she passes by. What ever you need, put your self in the best mood as possible. On the car ride to Denny’s or where you guy decided to eat at. Also its a good idea to plan your escape, so earlier suggest she invite over her sister, friends, who ever. Just say , let’s have them over I’ll BBQ if you don’t know how to BBQ you need to learn and fast. You being good on the grill will get you out of a lot of things and get you praise for it, if your food taste good. Don’t get talked into going over their houses or meeting them at a restaurant. This could mean your out till you meet up with who ever she called. If your BBQ you have to prepare the food some need an hour marinade or rub, stopping by the grocery store for ingredients is not recommended. I’d get home first look and then say honey I thought we had what ever and your going to run to the Grocery store for it ..real quick. Remember she’s in a shopping mood you don’t want her to continue her urges in the grocery store. So now you have a timer on this day, go eat some food don’t prolong the stay, and be loving with her so she don’t punish you by keeping you there any longer than you guys have to be. Your cellphone apps may come in handy, sitting outside the waiting room. Just don’t load any thing that can’t be paused in an instant. She going to want your opinion and your attention at that moment. I’m sure you seen – any sit com  and the guy says the wrong thing, when asked how do I look. I hope you been telling her how beautiful she is multiple times a day every day. But not only saying it, tell her why in details. So when this moment arrives, you are prepared to give her an honest but flattering assment of the items she’s wearing. So you can tell her you love this part of her body and in that piece of clothing doesn’t highlight such part. Just be honest.. but not stupid and it a good time to make her feel good with a complement. And most of all enjoy being out with her, make the best of the situation. It’s not an ideal day for most men, but start off positive and just don’t bring your self down. Eat for energy and remember most of all… it’s for her and she likes spending time with your dumb ass. I know its crazy..but they do like us their not just to torching us.  So just have fun and its only a few hours, you can do this.

Till next time…tell her she’s later.beautiful every day and why..give details to what you like about her…it can help you out cropped-th-5.jpg